I have been thinking of a new concept that someone told me about when thinking about my money. It is similar to a way of thinking about it that I read in a book a little while ago, but somehow this version makes a little more sense to me. So, I keep a tight track of my money. I know exactly how much I spend, I know exactly how much is in my checking account at all times. But I am still not saving anything. In fact, in the last year I have accumulated debt because my expenses have gone up and also I had gall bladder surgery which cost a lot out of my pocket. So even though I keep track of everything I am still not feeling the abundance that I’d like to. Someone told me that I have to think completely differently about my money if I want to experience abundance. That it starts with me. She said that I need to think of my money as my own. That once it comes to me it never leaves. Before I had always been feeling the lack of it, because as soon as I get paid I write out a check for this bill or that bill or give a big chunk to the grocery store. I’ve always been thinking it belongs to everyone else, like the electric company or the gas station. That’s where I can change my thinking. Because really, my money never leaves me. It goes into my life, into the warmth of my home, into the food I put into my body, into the shoes I wear on my feet. Once it comes to me it stays my own. So I am thinking about all the ways the money I earn supports me instead of how I never have enough of it. That way of thinking hasn’t increased the actual amount of money that has been coming my way. But it has reduced my anxiety and helped me feel more connected and grateful. I can even say it has helped me feel more abundance in my life. Maybe keeping tight track of the amount isn’t as important as keeping track of what it gives me. This week I have been grateful that it gave me good food from the CSA I joined. And I am about to make a pot of tea and some oatmeal. My house is warm and cozy and filled with beautiful things that I love. My children are still sleeping in their beds. Now that is abundance.
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