I keep thinking lately of the phrase from a song that I mentioned before “knock your heart free.” (Carrie Elkin) It is coming to me a lot. That’s what the world needs from all of us, I think, we all need to let our hearts be knocked free. The whales I saw while at a training in Santa Cruz, California and the long expanse of the Monterey Bay certainly did a number on my heart. I learned a lot about asking for and giving support and treating people with a respect that never underestimates their greatness and therefore allows the space for them to be great. I think this training will take me in new directions in my work life, but it also moved me personally as well. I think it is a big step toward who I am to become but it also left me happy with who I am right now. I have been enjoying the beginning of fall. For this new season I am letting go of all of the old patterns of “not enough” and drawing up through my roots the nourishment of wealth and community. For the past ten years I have spent a lot of my time thinking I am out here all by myself, now I am ready to let myself be embraced by others and to really feel supported by everything and everyone around me. In conscious dance last Sunday I really felt that change and I had a big release of grief and sadness at how hard it has been to get where I am now. So I lay on the floor in child’s pose and while I cried the most amazing thing happened, the other dancers supported me and formed a container where I could be safe with my feelings for all I have lost and not had that I have wanted in my adult life. I felt so loved and comforted by their touch and acceptance. On Monday I still felt a little vulnerable and stirred up but yesterday I returned to center. It’s amazing how it works now. Hard emotions still come up but they last for a lot shorter time and I can see so much from them that they really are a blessing. Anyway, been doing a lot of meditating and praying on how to truly open my whole heart to beauty, and been trying to support others in my life to do the same. Namaste.
Lots of Support
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