Lots of Support

I keep thinking lately of the phrase from a song that I mentioned before “knock your heart free.” (Carrie Elkin) It is coming to me a lot. That’s what the world needs from all of us, I think, we all need to let our hearts be knocked free. The whales I saw while at a training in Santa Cruz, California and the long expanse of the Monterey Bay certainly did a number on my heart. I learned a lot about asking for and giving support and treating people with a respect that never underestimates their greatness and therefore allows the space for them to be great. I think this training will take me in new directions in my work life, but it also moved me personally as well. I think it is a big step toward who I am to become but it also left me happy with who I am right now. I have been enjoying the beginning of fall. For this new season I am letting go of all of the old patterns of “not enough” and drawing up through my roots the nourishment of wealth and community. For the past ten years I have spent a lot of my time thinking I am out here all by myself, now I am ready to let myself be embraced by others and to really feel supported by everything and everyone around me. In conscious dance last Sunday I really felt that change and I had a big release of grief and sadness at how hard it has been to get where I am now. So I lay on the floor in child’s pose and while I cried the most amazing thing happened, the other dancers supported me and formed a container where I could be safe with my feelings for all I have lost and not had that I have wanted in my adult life. I felt so loved and comforted by their touch and acceptance. On Monday I still felt a little vulnerable and stirred up but yesterday I returned to center. It’s amazing how it works now. Hard emotions still come up but they last for a lot shorter time and I can see so much from them that they really are a blessing. Anyway, been doing a lot of meditating and praying on how to truly open my whole heart to beauty, and been trying to support others in my life to do the same. Namaste.

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