It has been ten years now since I last went to the hospital and lost everything and started slowly building my life back. And now something new has begun. Now I am writing about it. I am writing about it from a place of clarity and understanding that even a year ago I couldn’t have imagined I would possess. Since the day last month when I knew that I needed to write my book now, not two or three years from now or sometime in the distant future as I had been thinking, but now, this very winter, a lot of clarity has been coming into me. I have been understanding more and more about the truth of where I have been. I have been getting clearer and clearer on the message I have to give to others. I began writing yesterday, and I have found that it is very different to sit down with the chapter of a book in mind, and then the next chapter and the next to come after than it is to do the type of writing I am used to. It is much more of a process, much more of a labor of love than just a blog post or an article. I can feel the energy pouring out of me into my words. I can feel myself growing and responding to the creative flow. I know already that this winter is going to change me, that I have begun what I have been walking toward my whole life by beginning this book. I know that I will no longer be the same come spring. Already, I feel pulled to my house, my brown office chair and the beautiful miniature orchid that brightens my desk. I look forward to cold winter days spent here drinking tea and writing. I suspect that all of this writing will result in just that, more and more writing. I suspect that there will be frequent blog posts sharing the process. There is so much power in words for me. I am enjoying that I am being embraced by their language and beauty. This is the beginning of a magical time in my life. And I know it is the words that will take me to the magic.
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