I didn’t know I was starving til now

Oh, am I hungry all of the sudden. Not hungry to go anywhere really. Perfectly content to sit in my sweet little house. But hungry for something like completion, I guess. You know how it is, don’t you? You just have to stop somewhere. Well I can’t find silence whatever I do. Michael Harding talks about the way life comes towards you. He says pay attention to the trees. Whatever comes towards you is really yours. Whatever and whomever comes after you is really, really not. You know the difference, right? “After me all the time,” says my friend Charlie. So, shed them today like gnats in your face. All of them. Who needs them anymore, anyway? We’re busy. Busy living. Offer them something far away from you. Go there, you say, be with him, be with her, be with them, you’ve always wanted to anyway. I have a little secret. No one has ever been after me much. They just did it behind my back. Except psychiatrists, they liked to come after me hard or ignore me completely. I had like two things I was allowed to say with every mental illness professional I ever met. Yes and no, basically. Anyway, I’m still not clear of that you know. Waiting for my next shot and my next psychiatry appointment. Coming up soon, too. I would never think to be non-compliant. Probably end up right back at five east with all the drug seekers and pain junkies if I was. Looking for a handout and a place to hook up, they are. Call themselves homeless but we know that’s impossible. Anyway, do I sound bitter? I’m not really. Just tired, I guess. You should see the people constantly racing my back yard. All the cars still parked on my street. I can barely hear the birds. Can’t get my amazon orders to save my life. Need my seltzer water and my chocolate covered pretzels. Anyway, loves. Seize the day. Carpe diem. Do your thing. I heard it’s a wonderful world for those with goodness in their hearts. Be good kiddies. Santa is keeping up with you.