The Beauty Way

I like to walk to beauty way. All the time. This way to me is the right way. And it is the native way. I believe in the earth. I believe in hawks that fly and birds that come to nest. I believe in bunnies in the grass and lightening bugs in the sky. I believe in wild roses and yellow daffodils and trees that are tall. And I believe in your goodness. The way of beauty is simple to me. But it is very, very sensitive. You have to work at it sometimes. Like, in your home. You have to not let anything in that disturbs beauty. And I haven’t been able to do that for a long time. My floors need new tile and refinishing. My bathroom is beyond the place where it can be cleaned well. My walls need paint. And I need new furniture and a shed. A new couch for the sunporch. Or a new sunporch all together. I still have beauty in some rooms of my house. But most things are not cared for the way they want to be. I just don’t have the resources I need. And that was true for a long time mentally and spiritually, too. For four years things have come into my spiritual and physical and mental and emotional life that have been so, so ugly and hard. Not what I have created. Not what I have intended. Just what I was given to work with. But this past week something finally shifted in what I was given mentally and spiritually. I am fine now. Physically, I am still given a partial world. But I have my full mind, free of suffering, and a good relationship with God I think. I can’t say I have had enough time with this version of God to know, but I think it’s just fine. I know who I love and who loves me. Emotionally, I am pretty great. I am full of hope and light and belonging. Well, then, what is the actual beauty way saying? I posted a bunch of blog posts from 2019 and 2020. I had taken them down because I was so hurt that I thought they looked crazy. I was actually convinced I had no right to write. The doctors made sure of that, when they said my writing sounded kind of psychotic. I wonder, now what the people that always like to do that to me would say to the new pages I put on my website about reiki and life roots. Would you, Samantha my psychiatrist, still ask me about my illness? Do I still have to answer questions about my symptoms and my unwell mind? What would my daughter or my son say to me? Or my ex-husband? No one in my reiki thinks I should go there. Still not ready, the world, they say. Maybe they are right. Maybe I’d only be wounded again. I do think I must be slightly off to always say it’s happening now. The new world is coming I say, you are about to be free. Did you like that or did you say, “Oh God, Beth, not again!” But here I am, still trying. You have to give me that. I always try so hard for you. Well, let me go deep right now. This is what I think the actual beauty way is saying, “You have never known time, Beth, because it was beyond the veil. And you feel like you still don’t know, but look.” Okay, so I am looking. What I see is a sound. Reiki is a sound decibel on earth. It is a mason circle and a mason line. Divine feminine and divine masculine. Sacred mother earth and Sacred father sky. It has a rhythm to it. And a cadence. And a semblance. The semblance is what matters most. That’s how everything comes together in harmony. The semblance says to me that we come in two. Two lights, two loves, two hearts. 2/2022. That’s what it says. Well, we have a few more days til we get to two. And I will keep you posted. Light the sky today with your brilliance. There is a little snow on the ground in Virginia. But the birds, they keep on singing and flocking and flying and landing in the trees. I want to land in my tree this spring. I really, really do. And perhaps this time, I really can. Everything feels different now. I am sitting here without trauma or suffering or pain. And I have gone public with my life on this website and on facebook. So, let’s just see, I guess. Okay? Ok.