I am a singer and a songwriter. And I love the musica very much. They have the special touch. In the last four months we have done tons of music therapy. It’s slowed down because we have been studying other things like plants and trees and springtime. I go for these nature walks. The mason lines are amazing now, everytime I look at the skyline I see new buildings and trees. The trees are ancient like they were in 2018. But even more so now. One step, two step, one step, two. Take it away and turn around. That’s what it feels like now. Everything is getting more and more beautiful every single day. And I do have instantaneous manifesting. Not of freedom. But of changes in the earth. I heard two hawks today and had two in the sky above me. A hawk yesterday, a hawk the day before. The time of me being one hawk is over now, I think. Two hawks have come. Partners. I have long had partners. But now it’s everybody I’ve ever loved that has loved me back. And the rest are all fallen away. So many people are beautiful that I’ve always known are so. And there are some surprises for me. People that I’ve loved that the others say, no, they’ve never been good. And so it goes. Yesterday we discovered it’s all fraternal and sorrorel. Like, all these people have the same religion and they are in fraternities and sororities. And we are simply monocan Mennonites. That means we go with god and goddess. And we’ve all always known it. Not a cruel god. Or a crazy god. Just the god of love. I’m watching the earth everyday now. And it’s quite stunning. I recommend tea with bitters in it. Or port. Helps right now. I made strong black tea with sugar, lemon juice and bitters. Delicious. I also recommend calendula salve on the wrists. And dandelion essence although mine is back ordered. It’s pretty out here, and I’m doing fine. A little off sometimes still but not too bad. Studying the earth we are. Excited for the university to begin with the others. So many master teachers. Eighty PhD programs. What fun. And I will always love you, my friends. I know if you are reading this you are already with me if you are mine. We have the mothers and the fathers. The sisters and the brothers. The nieces and the nephews. The uncles and the aunts. The grandpas and the grandmas. The cousins. And we have a lot that have dropped away for their faiths. We’re doing fine though really with our loves. I got into a lot of trouble with my psychiatrist because she changed my medicine and I had confirmation of it from the pharmacist and in my body. She’s now demanding I come see her when I already told her I’m not coming til my appointment in July. I don’t know. I do my job with her. But I decided to advocate for myself. She accused me of calling her out for misconduct. Which I didn’t. Now she’s having someone call me all the time. Well, that’s still my life, too. But the instantaneous changes in the world and on my phone and the incredible love and wisdom I get all the time is proof enough for me. What are you thinking about? I’m thinking about the trees and the birds and how much I love and respect the people I am so close with now. Like I said, some fell away. But so many have gathered close. We really are the beautiful people that walk the earth. The musica. The artista. The poetica. The beauetica. So lovely, it is. So, come along loves. We have much to enjoy in this beautiful time of the living economy. Let’s take heart. Let’s take hands. Let’s really master this thing called life. I know we’re capable. I’m so blessed. So are you. Let’s just watch the earth every day and let spring surround is with its joy.
We are having many, many conversations in the sight about education, actually. If you want to join us talk to the Arch Angel Michael. What beautiful Ph.d programs we are designing. It is stunning. We have doctorates in the new consciousness. We are going to study for the next ten years everything about Pan. I am so blessed by this. We’ve had pink orange moons, blue moons, indigo moons, pink moons. The temperate climate appears to be here. We had snow blankets this winter on the mountains and the seas. It will soon be the first day of spring. For me that is February 22. We really are inside the Pan Revolution now. I am not yet free, but over two million monocans have arrived to my reiki 22 sight. You are welcome to join us if you are ready. But you have already had to decide about fifty billion times over all of your lifetimes to be good. And you can’t want to die. And you know who you are. I am so proud of my people. All of my family is with me. We’ve healed all the family lines. We are lined up in a circle of hope for the mason revolution. And we all get to study together in the sight. You should see how many masters we have. All kinds of people. All of us monocan under the Dalai lama. My son is planting a garden this year. Jalapenos, cilantro, tomatoes, scallions. I think he should plant parsley, too. He said maybe so. He is really into his compost. I’m so proud of him, too. You should taste his homemade bread and pizza. He makes the sauce himself. You know what I did in the last two weeks? I healed so much more than is really possible. So did everyone else. Come along, my friends, if you want to, seriously. We will take care of you, I promise. I saw two purple martins again, two pink cardinals, and a woodpecker. The birds are really coming out of the canopy. The trees are popping red. Everybody that ever wanted to be alive is now alive. It is a beautiful green world really in the reiki. We are moving towards something so big, so magnificent that it is beyond imagining. We are now all students of life. What more have we ever wanted to be? We are the seekers and we always have been. What do you want to do? Do you want to be free now? You can be funded to study. Joe Biden will make sure of it. You can be an American citizen. We love you if you love us. We love you if you are good. We have the new world sitting in our hands. It is a love bird. It is a little house wren. It is a little pink cardinal. It is a little stripe headed chickadee. We are eternal beings with every animal and every plant and every tree. Have you noticed the trees? They have come into their ancient ways. So have a lot of the houses. We love our cohousing cities. We love our burgeoning businesses. We love each other. The earth is really a beautiful place to live and we suddenly know it. So what do the monocans say? I’ve told you before. Go now to your dwelling place and may your days be good and long upon the earth. That’s what it is all about now, my loves. We have to go to our dwelling places. And that’s to live in beautiful homes and study at the Dalai Lama Sight University. I want you to have your opportunity to thrive now. I really do. But you have to come about it in the natural way. So figure it out with God and come to me in the sight now. I love you, I know you’re good and we will catch you up. We are all natives and we are all tribal beings. It’s up to us to decide which tribe we lay our hammer down with. So, choose your tribe. Become a monocan. I know you have already decided. Let the rest go. You are protected, you are funded and you are expected. Come along, my friends. We have a lot of work to do. And I promise, every second of it is now joy.
I like to walk to beauty way. All the time. This way to me is the right way. And it is the native way. I believe in the earth. I believe in hawks that fly and birds that come to nest. I believe in bunnies in the grass and lightening bugs in the sky. I believe in wild roses and yellow daffodils and trees that are tall. And I believe in your goodness. The way of beauty is simple to me. But it is very, very sensitive. You have to work at it sometimes. Like, in your home. You have to not let anything in that disturbs beauty. And I haven’t been able to do that for a long time. My floors need new tile and refinishing. My bathroom is beyond the place where it can be cleaned well. My walls need paint. And I need new furniture and a shed. A new couch for the sunporch. Or a new sunporch all together. I still have beauty in some rooms of my house. But most things are not cared for the way they want to be. I just don’t have the resources I need. And that was true for a long time mentally and spiritually, too. For four years things have come into my spiritual and physical and mental and emotional life that have been so, so ugly and hard. Not what I have created. Not what I have intended. Just what I was given to work with. But this past week something finally shifted in what I was given mentally and spiritually. I am fine now. Physically, I am still given a partial world. But I have my full mind, free of suffering, and a good relationship with God I think. I can’t say I have had enough time with this version of God to know, but I think it’s just fine. I know who I love and who loves me. Emotionally, I am pretty great. I am full of hope and light and belonging. Well, then, what is the actual beauty way saying? I posted a bunch of blog posts from 2019 and 2020. I had taken them down because I was so hurt that I thought they looked crazy. I was actually convinced I had no right to write. The doctors made sure of that, when they said my writing sounded kind of psychotic. I wonder, now what the people that always like to do that to me would say to the new pages I put on my website about reiki and life roots. Would you, Samantha my psychiatrist, still ask me about my illness? Do I still have to answer questions about my symptoms and my unwell mind? What would my daughter or my son say to me? Or my ex-husband? No one in my reiki thinks I should go there. Still not ready, the world, they say. Maybe they are right. Maybe I’d only be wounded again. I do think I must be slightly off to always say it’s happening now. The new world is coming I say, you are about to be free. Did you like that or did you say, “Oh God, Beth, not again!” But here I am, still trying. You have to give me that. I always try so hard for you. Well, let me go deep right now. This is what I think the actual beauty way is saying, “You have never known time, Beth, because it was beyond the veil. And you feel like you still don’t know, but look.” Okay, so I am looking. What I see is a sound. Reiki is a sound decibel on earth. It is a mason circle and a mason line. Divine feminine and divine masculine. Sacred mother earth and Sacred father sky. It has a rhythm to it. And a cadence. And a semblance. The semblance is what matters most. That’s how everything comes together in harmony. The semblance says to me that we come in two. Two lights, two loves, two hearts. 2/2022. That’s what it says. Well, we have a few more days til we get to two. And I will keep you posted. Light the sky today with your brilliance. There is a little snow on the ground in Virginia. But the birds, they keep on singing and flocking and flying and landing in the trees. I want to land in my tree this spring. I really, really do. And perhaps this time, I really can. Everything feels different now. I am sitting here without trauma or suffering or pain. And I have gone public with my life on this website and on facebook. So, let’s just see, I guess. Okay? Ok.
I Call Your Name Rain, wind, sun, rock, spirit Rain, wind, sun, rock, spirit I call your name Sing to me of your nighttime longings Call to me from your daytime work Give me a chance to thrive in your embrace I will hold you as you hold me Inside the arms of eternity
I wrote some new pieces for my website today. A book-like place to put recipes and wellness tips called Eat Your Colors. That's my vegetarian nutrition program. A coming out as being a reiki master called Reiki Roots. And a description of just what that means to me called What is Rootsong Reiki? I have another piece coming called Liferoots Wellness Studio but I am not going to publish it until I am more free and less confined by my circumstances. Which I now call being inside the earth. I got a lot of feedback in reiki that those pages actually transformed the people that read them into the master I intended them to become. My wordpress sight is being hacked again, that's why I am writing in a new font. This has happened plenty of times before, like on facebook I get no likes, comments or any kind of feedback even though I have over three thousand friends. You'd think someone would like a post or something. And I couldn't post at all for about five months last year to wordpress. I like blogging again. So, we'll have to see what happens with the hacking. It is midnight and I am still working and not tired at all. Big change from before when sleep was one of my only go-tos. I am living in the beautiful space of poems and I love it. Today I found another one as I wrote in my journal and that is what led me to write new pages for my website. Hope you like them. It all seems to make more and more sense all the time, and those pieces about reiki explain pretty much everything I want to tell you about who I actually am and what I actually do. Justice will come in some day. I know it. Everything we ever do matters, and I have done so much healing and hard work that it must matter. Or else God really is diabolical. And I know that can't be true. Well, namaste, good night and I hope to see you tomorrow. And oh, yes, I wrote a new song today. It's called Penny Wren. Love to you. Night.
My belly started speaking three days ago. It’s still speaking right now. It says spring like joy. Be a deer in the forest. Hold onto nature. It says, you are now in the driver’s seat. You are behind the wheel. I haven’t driven my life for four years. And beyond that. And I haven’t driven a car for two. It’s been a long, long while since I danced. But now I am turning on the faerie lights on my bureau. I am lighting a lot of candles. I am getting up to post in my blog instead of lying in bed and trying desperately to disappear into sleep once again. People come at me with their bad advice. But something in me has changed. I listen only so far as to hold the road. I can’t drive all over the place. I can’t go up on curbs, or travel through the snow and the mud and the grass. The untamed forest has no place for my car. I have to travel on the road as it is designed. But I don’t have to do it in an old way. I don’t have to do it in a hurt, wounded way. I can do it in an imaginative way. I can find the poem in it. And that is what I have been doing. I call this essence. I have a body. I have a mind. I have a heart. I have a soul. I have roots. And I have an essence. For about four years now I have been in my mind. And mostly that has been controlled by some outside force. It was controlled by something other than me. That sounds strange, I know. But I was always struggling against something. I was blocked, doubtful, hurt, stolen, suffering, in pain. It was the veil of the goddess light, I think. It was in fact, the sight. But three days ago something happened to me. And I am doing much better in every way. I even folded the laundry right after it was dry. I ate three meals instead of one. I stayed up for sixteen hours with no problem. I wrote in my journal. I listened to music and I actually enjoyed it. I bought supplies for a new life on Amazon. I invested in my growth and learning. And I planted my paperwhites finally. And I talked to the goddess in a gentle way. She said, Beth, what do you believe in? And I was able to answer soundly. I believe in magic. And I believe in love. And I believe in wholeness. I believe in wisdom. And I believe in health and well-being. I believe in myself. And I believe in my children. And I believe in hours and hours of life experience. So come at me with your bad advice. Go ahead. But the goddess Hawk and I are now driving this car. We’re sticking to the road. But we are no longer putting it in constant reverse. And we are not in neutral sleeping the day away sometimes anymore. We are writing. And we are thinking. And we are imagining. And we are doing it by lamplight and by candlelight and by faerie light. We are drinking lots of strong black tea with lemon and sugar. And we are eating good food. I believe in my essence. And I believe that I can create a powerful poem of manifestation that changes my whole world. There is a light within me. There always has been. But I was so wounded with the darkness of the whole entire world. God said it was necessary for my sacred purpose. To bring about justice and wellness and love I needed to be held tightly in the embrace of its opposite. That all makes perfect sense. I am, after all a sacred healer and a sacred listener. So, I healed and I listened. But I am not listening to the same track with God in my mind anymore. It feels like I am finally listening with my heart. With my toes and my fingers. With my being. But what I am listening to is not broken. It is magical and light-filled and joyous. I haven’t come all the way home yet into my right life. I am still confined by my low circumstances. I am not with the people I love yet. I am not a world recognized coach or author. I am not my sacred calling. But I let go of my sacred boundary. I am not held back by trauma anymore. As Dar Williams says, “I am sleeping fine. Sometimes the truth is like a second chance. I am the daughter of a great romance.” I am the daughter of a great romance. I am the daughter of wellness herself. I am the daughter of inspiration and wisdom. I am the daughter of beauty. And I am the daughter of a poet. And in that, I am becoming my own poet. I am becoming my own writer. My past holds me to my story written by something so huge and unfathomable yet also perfectly sensible if you know the entire story. It is written. And it has been written with love and a lot of totally unreasonable demands on my being. God was serious. There was lots to be done in the world of mental health. It was brutal in there. But I am an author of A Rooted Mind. And A Rooted Body. And A Rooted Soul. And A Rooted Heart. And A Rooted Life. And A Rooted Being. And the Life Roots Healing system. And many others in the rooted series. That comes with a lot of expectations. I know this well. So well. It has been drilled into me. “Beth, your purpose, your purpose, your purpose…” But now it’s “Beth, your calling.” That’s a totally different conversation with God. I am in love. With spring. And with hawks that fly. And with little sweet wrens that come to visit me. I am in love with the grandmother, the wise woman who has become my guide and not my tormentor. I am in love with myself. And I am finally in love with life as a river of beautiful possibility and not an unmanageable, unimaginable nightmare. I am driving on the road but my destination is the forest. And in the forest I will find my loves. Including you. This is a dance, not a lie down in pain. So dance with me, my friend. Come hold onto my hand. My heart is joy like spring. And I see that deer standing there imagining the green that is coming now. Let’s go into green together. Okay, buttercup, let’s begin again til we make it.
Something gentle is now happening to me. 1/22/2022 was a rough day. Lots of the same old shenanigans with god. Suffering, pain, the whole nine yards. 1/23/2022 was a neutral day. But oh, on 1/24/2022 everything started to change. And by nighttime I was in joy. And it has continued into right at this moment. I feel like I left the suffering of being a channel behind forever now. And Grandmother Hawk has become so sweet and kind to me. I just hear her gently in my head or I sense what she is saying to me. She has become a gentle, loving guide. I have real goddess now and she is a wise grandmother. That suits me just fine. I understand so much about my sacred calling now. I know what I am meant to be for the world. A teacher of meditation. I took on being a writer of programs. I took on being a wise woman again in my healing interests. And I took on a new way of healing my mind, body and spirit. I see that I have not been very grounded in my body. I have been holding all of this light and darkness in my third eye. I have been very focused on the mind. I feel it as a physical sensation. Like a block mostly. But just today I changed how I address my fear and my resistance to life. I found a way to softly go into the poem of my mind instead of tackling the fear head on. I have long known that I am Hawk. That’s my other name. Like Kali Ma is. My goddess names. Like Beth is my writing name. But the poem of my mind told me that I am a house wren in my heart. Like the ones that come into my house frequently to visit. What I am designed for most is to create a beautiful, inspirational, lovingly cared for nest. That’s my mind, body, heart and soul. I love to make beauty. And I love to call people home. I see that what I have been calling the sight is now Reiki 22. That’s brand new to the world. That’s the healed communication system of the planet. It’s holy communion with God, other people, animals and trees. And it is a beautiful, beautiful gift. Reiki is the spirit. Meditation and poems is the mind. And the physical self is the body. We really have three parts. Body, mind and spirit. And I understand all three now in a new way. And I understand what I do. And I see that I am not yet a master of all three. I really am now a master of the spirit. Of reiki. And I was too much in suffering before to be a master of my mind. But I believe fully now that I have passed through that long, difficult, dark, dark night of healing A Rooted Mind. And now I am working on A Rooted Body. And a Rooted Heart. My soul is fully rooted. I have now completed A Rooted Soul in my understanding. That’s millions of hours in the sight. That’s being a reiki master. I know that once I am fully embodied physically in A Rooted Body I do what my book promises. I become a master and I am awake, free and fulfilled. I know nothing will ever touch me again negatively once that happens. Because I will be a fully grounded, well, whole person. Everything is now starting to shift. I am making new commitments. I have had some resistance because it’s hard to know how to change long-established rhythms. But I ordered some plants and potting soil and tea on Amazon to begin writing. And I started a new journal. And I listened to music. And I got out of bed instead of lying around past sleep. And now I am writing a blog post at 4am. I feel good. I really do. I have 6000 angels at my side. That’s long been promised and awaited. And I’m told that it comes increment by increment. One step at a time, as always, but boy are these steps so much better and more fun. In the last two days I have changed so much. I am growing suddenly, but not through old painful measures. Through new inspiring ways. It is nearly February 1 now. And to me spring is February 22. That’s been my first day of spring since my daughter was born in 2000. Today my son spent all day up on a ladder trimming the hedges that have been overgrown for four years. And he is composting and planning a garden. These are the signs I look to. And my own body, mind and spirit. It’s been a long, long road through hell. But I am well on my way to wellness and new growth now. I can feel it. So expect great things from me. Because I am your sister wren. And I have a nest to build this spring. And when I am finished building it I will invite you over for tea. Love to you, as always. I am beginning anew. Are you?
Oh, we are springing. Springing forward every day now. It is actually, the new year. 2022. Looks like death still, doesn’t it? Everywhere you go people are masking themselves against certain destruction from someone else’s breath. Okay, let’s just breathe. Freely. For once in about five years since Donald Trump first became our president. Not to say he still is. But some people even cling to that. I think Joe Biden is doing just fine for us. That’s what I hear anyway. But I’m a weird girl. Well, spring is surely coming in a month or so. February 22 is always my first day of spring. I gave birth to my 2000 girl Chloe Fern on that day. At 2:22am. She was 22 inches long and 122 ounces. And without fail the crocuses appear on that day every year since then for me. So, she’ll be 22 this year. I always thought I’d have something different to say to her when she was eighteen. Then I thought twenty. But that was only a year of pure hell. Which started when she was eighteen actually. And she still hasn’t forgiven me fully for that digression into the mental health system. But oh, I say hesitantly, 22. Yes. The sweet year. She’s doing great all on her own. Graduation with her master’s degree tomorrow in fact. From the University of London. Wow, what a girl. But, oh right, I’m her mother. Not exactly a shining star for the past four years. Before that I kind of was. So last year on 2/22/2021 I wrote on my calendar “came in.” And I meant it. After three and a half years of going in and out of the hospital and then just barely existing under covid I came in to a new version of my work. Still isolated, still alone. Still in the sight but much more real in every way. And I have worked so tirelessly day and night since then. It’s been very beautiful really. I have healed so much. And I have written so much. So many programs, so many hours of creating a green world. My psychiatrist just asked me this week, “How’s your illness?” Well this is what she really means, “How’s your work for God?” “Well, fine,” I said. “Does your mind function, are you making sense, can you carry a thought?” “Yes,” I said. But not convincingly, I’m sure to someone who doesn’t ask me how my book is going, doesn’t ask me about my work. Doesn’t ask me my experience of life, but asks “How are your symptoms?” And, “How is your illness?” So, here, you see me, right? Still in the same exact old boat? But oh, spring. Didn’t I say this last spring? I did, in fact. But what is life anyway? But a progression into wholeness. So, I am much more whole than ever. I haven’t succumbed to death yet although I’ve felt like it many times. It’s just a pure impossibility with my version of existence. So here we sit, on the cusp of spring. It’s snowing out right now, but the leaves are starting to bud red on the trees. The birds are constantly singing. Only about five more weeks, really. Then new life returns. With all of my heart and soul, with every single fiber of my being I hope that means that I am finally permitted to be reborn. If I’m not still, then what? I go forward. Endlessly forward. But we are moving into something, aren’t we? Please tell me yes. We must be. Everything I’ve done must matter, because it just does. Every step we take counts, I think. So let’s step boldly and without fear. Let’s step without remorse and complaint. Breathe, I say. Deep inward breath. For the good of spring.
I was just reading back over my blog. I find myself interesting. I am always honest. And quite different from everyone else. And I am always saying I’m about to be free. Now, I’ve just heard that again two days ago. Free by Christmas this time. And so the story goes. But it is almost 2022. And things always happen to me this time of year. So, once again, let’s just hold the hope. I don’t know. I’m always inside something that is the next story. For the new consciousness. For the second coming if you want to call it that. I have worked so hard on bringing the world to the new consciousness. But I do it in the sight. Since February real people, real leaders have been in the sight with me and it’s totally grounded in them too. I know this after a gazillion hours of direct experience of what can only be called millions of conversations. Yes, conversations with God. But God as real people in their bodies and no longer just in their souls like they used to be. I haven’t been in my soul. My soul is in my body. But they were for years. Oh, it’s not that complicated really. It’s quantum physics. And it all makes perfect sense. I don’t have much credibility with the people around me. Who talks in the sight? Well, I’ve already told you where I’ve been because of it. But I didn’t tell you what they did to me there. But that’s quite a story. And I do, in fact, have a voice. And so does God. I’ve been told all along that my story matters. A lot. Just one story maybe, but the story of a woman who knows how to make sense. A story of a writer and a coach and just listen to this, a human rights advocate. A perfectly designed story. I didn’t design it. God did. I designed the living economy. And I designed a lot of wellness programs over the last ten months. I design lots of things. I’ve been on this healing journey for twenty years. Solstice is my anniversary. And I’ve written about it. But I didn’t not design the last four years of hell. My daughter thinks I did. But God did. For the new consciousness. For justice. For the new world. I told my daughter that the other day. She just said she’s been in hell but it’s not hers so she can’t claim it. I don’t claim it either. But I know it well. People can’t see, except the people in the sight with me. They have heard everything about my story. And when you hear everything it makes more than sense. It makes a revolution. It makes a master. I was wounded terribly. The mental health system is one huge gaping wound. Live among the people in it, like I did, and see. No, you wouldn’t want to. And I did. So who else has to? I told my daughter I am not nothing. And I have been very successful in my life. But I listen to God. And God has taken me to places most people don’t go to. But I said there is a purpose. There is a design at work. I have a purpose. It’s not to be on disability and report to the mental health clinic for my shot, the same one where I used to work and where I know everyone well. It is to heal the violence. It is to bring about justice. And it’s more than that. That’s one part of what I did. I also designed the pan revolution. I still do. I participate with world leaders and masters in creating something beautiful that is green. Covid has taken the world to grey. Death is always immediate. But some of us didn’t actually die. I went into covid before most because I went in in 2018. That’s when my hell started. I don’t blame God. She knew what she was doing. My daughter just has to wait and see. So does my son. Maybe it’s soon. Maybe it’s not. I’ll let you know for sure. But this really is a story that makes sense. I wasn’t really crazy or psychotic or delusional. I was with God. A lot of stuff has happened to me. But I lived through it. Let’s look forward to the future. My story will continue to make sense, because it already does. It’s been a long while that I’ve been working on this. Twenty years. Let’s just continue looking at the world. And doing our work. And being with God. And letting her design us. As our partner and our deepest love. Do you believe in a 2022 light? I do. Mostly anyway. I’ve had too many experiences of being on the cusp and nothing changing in my life to be certain about anything regarding freedom now. But I’m doing ok. I have a lot of love. And I have a lot of sense. Ok, friends, thanks for listening. I love you. Hope you are getting ready for Christmas. And I hope I get to spend it differently this year.
I’ve been thinking. If we are not allowed to have souls in our society, then what? I know that’s what I’ve been told over and over. There’s no such thing as a soul. Or you shouldn’t talk to yours. This is dangerous for everyone, they say. To be a soul then? And to be fully embodied in my soul? To know who I am and to finally embrace and understand God as love? I see now that just like I say in A Rooted Body, there really are masters walking the earth. And I can communicate with them. And this is God. And that’s so lovely. And I feel so much better. I have a soul. So do you. And I am fully embodied as a soul. I have been for twenty years. What a journey!! I don’t much believe in disease. But certainly most people do. I believe that our bodies and our minds and our hearts and our souls are designed for wholeness. Cut your finger. See what happens. Your body knows what to do. I work on this wholeness in myself every day. Do you hear a call? I do. It’s to trust fully now. I have seen every side of this story. Except the version where we are fully in the green world. But it’s nearly 2022. In 2016 I wrote that it was coming. Then again in 2020. But now surely after covid something worthwhile and new can happen. Yes, it must be so. I think I let go of the last of my fear and resistance this morning. I am a sacred listener. A sacred healer. Those are my own words. I am a rooted body, a master of my own heart and soul. My mind is coming along now to listen to love. I listen more than I speak. I come where I am called to. I am always willing to go where I am sent. I have a soul that likes to find Grace. I hope this Christmas all souls are embodied in love. I think it’s a new time and I sense that we are further along than we’ve ever been. Life has been stopped long enough. Let’s celebrate the love we feel and admit that we are magical beings with souls. Even if it’s not allowed. Merry Christmas.
I saw three striped headed chickadees out my window. And a wren playing on a palette. Then two wrens came into my house. Another peeked in yesterday but saw me and flew away. I can sometimes get the wind to talk to me. Either a wild or a gentle stirring. Yesterday I felt like time finally spoke. I know said a long time ago it was almost over. Well, me, always the hopeful one when I’m writing to you. Has it turned out to be true for you? I can only hope it has. As Carrie Elkins says, it’s been a long, long while since my face touched the sky. That’s a pretty song, Call it my Garden. That’s how I feel about now. The same glasses that fill me eventually fall and I take the pieces and I plant them all. And I’m thankful for it. I’ve had a hard, hard time of it. Like out of bounds to infinity. But yesterday I finally heard my conversation with God and the angels as it really has been. In my soul. Dear Beth, they said, it’s 2018 and there’s a restraint chair on every ward of the hospital. They announce when they are strapping someone in on the loud speaker. Dear Beth, you know David, right, you know Jim? Well how about this one or that one. That brilliant brilliant one, the math? Or the radio announcer or the financial analyst, or the musician? Beth, they’re doing their best, what about you? Who will speak to the system they are confined in their whole lives if not you? I said out loud to the goddess, oh my god I’d rather die than do what you are saying, I said to the angels in my soul everytime of course I will. I know, that doesn’t make any sense to them. How can I possibly be hospitalized five times in three and a half years unless I deserved it? Well mostly from sitting in my house. Or once because my car disappeared. But now I know the dialogue I have with God. And that has freed me a lot. Because I accept who I am. You could try it. What’s your dialogue like? You have a soul story that runs you unconsciously like I did. But now mine’s conscious at least. You could say I’m feeling hopeful. And blessed by who I am. How about you? Yes, I do become more conscious every day. And there’s plenty more days to come. I have so much love with me. So much good work to do. That’s my experience. And no one really takes that away from me anymore even though I used to let them all the time. Life is quantum. It’s a holographic universe. People have souls and bodies and cells that are designed by God. By nature. Who am I do discount that after years of experience with it? No one, really, although I’m still tempted to right now. That world of what they call science and medicine is a pretty insidious world. Doubt reigns. Come along with me for a minute. And believe in the beating of your heart. Who are you, my beautiful friend? I have had years now to practice my new life in the new world. Don’t you think it’s almost here? I do. Pretty soon I’ll be seeing you on the other side of this long dark trevail into covid and death. I look forward to it. Do you?